dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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