I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
