I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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