so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize