But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
