6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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