I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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