Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
