So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
