Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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