sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
