It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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