Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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