Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
