i permit you to call me
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize