I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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