You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Randomize
