btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Watching her eat just hurts me
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
