If that was your dad, he is hot
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
3pm strippers are depressing
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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