i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
