Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
