My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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