Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
