i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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