Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
