Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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