So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
