I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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