Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
where am i from again
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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