Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
