It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
