I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
