I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I lost the right to judge tonight
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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