Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
