i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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