so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm at about main and main street
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
