I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
