Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
