I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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