Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm bleeding and have questions
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