Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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