Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
