be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
