Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
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You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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