If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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