Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
