sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
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She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
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My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
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