Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
is wine microwaveable?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize