New low: just hacked my moms facebook
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
