My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
