Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
