Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
