ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
