coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
