Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
