We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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