the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
