This is not my ceiling
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
