At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
