so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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