I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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