Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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